🍋 How to set Boundaries with In-Laws💥

Happy Wednesday Mammas! For once, we aren’t telling you to prep your clocks for Daylight Saving Time or get your kids’ costumes ready. What is this, normal life? Take a deep breath, settle in, and reheat your coffee for the fifth time today, you’ve earned it. 

In Today’s Lemon Mommy:

• How to Set Boundaries With Your In-Laws When You Have a New Baby 🏠

• These Baby Carriers are Approved By the Busiest Mommas 🚼

• Stuffed Bread Recipes Everyone in the Family Will Love 🥖

• The Shocking Reason Why the Whisper Technique is the New Parenting Hack 🤫

Team Work

Once you and your partner come together, it’s you against the world -- you’re a team. Maintain this mentality when you’re wrestling with an in-law problem.

Neither of you are on your parents’ teams anymore. Instead, you’re on each other’s and your baby’s team. This simple mind shift makes all the difference when you’re facing questions that pertain to your family as a whole. 

Maintain a United Front 

You and your partner must create a united front with your in-laws. While it may seem like you’re going into a war room before you talk to them, make sure the two of you are on the same page and in agreeance with your decisions. 

You don’t want to present a plan and then renegotiate afterward. Stand firm in the decisions you’ve made for your family and don’t switch the script. 

Keep the Boundaries Fair

When you’re making decisions for your family, keep them fair. If you’re setting boundaries for your in-laws with your baby, don’t make it so that your parents can drop in anytime, but your partner’s parents are only allowed to see the little one now and then. 

Of course, some circumstances might mean one set of parents is closer to the child, but try your best to maintain balanced boundaries. 

Don’t Waiver

If you and your partner agreed on a rule for your baby and your in-laws or parents break that rule, don’t turn around and say it’s okay. Stay consistent in the decisions your family has made togethe. Don’t waiver on them. 

Let your no be no. Boundaries don’t end with who sees the baby when, they also include your rules for your child.

Let Your Partner Handle the Fires

While the two of you should stand together throughout this process if your in-laws are being difficult or causing more stress than they should, let your partner intervene. The same ruling goes if your parents are overbearing. 

Although the two of you are a team, a huge part of being on a team is knowing each others’ strengths, weaknesses, and backgrounds. Allowing your partner to take the reigns and talk to their parents is more than acceptable.

Be Intentional 

Dr. Dara Bushman, a psychologist, says intentionality is the key to creating boundaries. She suggests parents ask themselves if their decisions are for them or their baby.  

A few questions to consider regarding this topic are, “Is it helpful, or is it harmful?” and “Do they have the best interest of the child in mind?” If you’re uncertain about the answer, you might need to create a new boundary. 

See the Good

It’s easy to get in your head when it comes to having issues with your in-laws. But, for the most part, everyone wants to feel seen and respected in these situations. Your in-laws are likely not trying to plot against you or steal your baby, no matter how much it might seem like that now and then. 

Try to see things from their perspective and assume the best, whether or not it happens.